What does it mean to truly apologize? Apologizing is more than just saying the words 'I'm sorry.' It requires acknowledging the harm or hurt that was caused, taking responsibility for one's actions, and making a genuine effort to make things right.
A true apology involves empathy, understanding the perspective of the person who was hurt, and demonstrating a willingness to listen to their feelings and needs. It also means committing to making changes to prevent the same harm from happening again in the future.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you said or did something that you regretted, and it seemed to hang in the air between you and the other person?
It can be difficult to move forward when there's unresolved tension and negative energy in the space.
In these times, it is critical to speak up, take responsibility, and “clear the space.”
A clearing is a way of taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for any harm caused, while also cleaning up the energy in the space. It can be done in person or remotely, and can be as simple or elaborate as you'd like.
Consider the possibility of honoring yourself as your word and acting consistent with it AND consider what really matters to you; being right or being with the other person.
Speak from the heart and acknowledge the broken agreement or harm you caused.
Use "I" statements and avoid blaming or making excuses. For example, "I'm sorry for what I said. It was hurtful and not okay." Own that you are 100% responsible and they are 0%.
Save the reasons, excuses, stories, and blame... they're not at ALL important to what you're up to creating in the future of your relationship.
Declare that you will let it all go - get rid of all the thoughts, complaints, energy, emotion, blame, shame, guilt — all of it. Even saying the words “ I let (my blame, shame, guilt, complaints go) because what is really most important is _____________ (i.e. having a relationship that works, being able to hang out again, being able to work together without stress, etc.)”
Say what is appropriate for the relationship. This could include: "I love you, I am sorry. Please forgive me.”
Finally, assure the person that this won’t happen again. This could involve making amends, offering a solution, or committing to do better in the future.
Remember, apologizing takes courage and humility, but it's an important step in repairing relationships and restoring trust. By taking responsibility for your actions and clearing things up, everyone can move forward with greater clarity and positivity.